The Mythical Closure

So I have done pretty good since the accident June 11th.   Actually got out and did some photo’s of my daughter and my best friends daughter.  So I thought I was finding closure.

Little did I know that closure was a mythical creature similar to a unicorn.  I have been struggling with Nightmares, Flashback and the anger for not being able to make sense of all this that I seen that day.  I want to move forward but the anxiety takes over my body like an evil angry spirit trying to pull me to the dark side.

I always knew that soldiers struggled with Fireworks on the 4th of July and other holidays.  However this was not something I was prepared to struggle with this year.  My nieghbors were shooting off the big fireworks for their family.  This some how got twisted in my brain to sounding like the accident I witnessed.  It took lots of deep breathing, good meds, and going to bed.  Yet I still work up sick from my nerves being wrecked.

I am trying to not let this effect my kids, my daughter has 3 fashion shows in the fall and I need to be back to normal so that i can take her to these.  1 is in NY and 1 is in LA, last thing I need on her first flight is to get anxious.. ugh.. I have flown it doesn’t bother me to fly but Fireworks have never bothered me either… So we slowly on the road to recovery but it is VERY slow!  But I do wish people would stop telling me it gets better with time.  I know it gets better with time in some weird sense of coping.  But in the end it never get really better it still haunts you but you just have to learn to cope or you will find yourself in a straight jacket laughing hysterically in a padded room.  So here is to time and finding that coping closure. 

Today I am breathing!

 

So in my previous Blog I addressed the accident I witnessed, we all know i am struggling… But something that has kept me holding it together was a song by Ingrid Michealson “Keep Breathing”.  So yesterday I went and had that put on my arm as i felt it is the song of my life.   The stuff I have lived through I truly feel I spend more time saying “Just BREATHE” than anything else. So now I have a tattoo on the inside of my arm that says “Just Keep Breathing” with a Dandilion running through it that looks like someone just took a breath and blew some of it away.  But not all was blown away so another breathe is needed getting to the idea of “Just Keep Breathing”.   I mean seriously this is just a few:

Sexually Abused myself

Alcoholics in home growing up

Drugs being used by parents growing up

Loveless 1st marriage

Step-daughter (my now adopted daughter)

Son diagnosed with Autism (which is a constant battle for acceptance of him)

Witnessing the this Accident in Selmer

So I did something for me that was souly for me… I know people will have opinions of tattoo’s but that is their problem.  I love seeing it and it grounds me.. In the end ONLY I can know what is gonna help me get to my new normal!  As you can tell there was thought behind this tattoo.. So I think i will be happy with it for the rest of my life saggy skin and all lol

 

Ocean of Emotions

**notice some things in this blog may be graphic and hard to read so please be mindful and aware when reading it!**

 

On June 3rd I had a spectacular beginning to my week.  My daughter started all the fun activities of the weekend for the Fashion Show Event she would be walking in. There we would both make new friends and end it with a Designer Walk to remember! She looked fabulous! I don’t think you could have pulled me out of the clouds that week… My Mommy Pride was BEAMING! However with many great things they all come to end and we had to return home.  We returned to a mound of vacation laundry and work looming over parents head.

Saturday June 11th, 2016 would come early with a Car Show and Craft Show I would be working.  My best friend and I have been doing craft shows for over a year now and it was a means to help our family since we were stay at home moms.  Every dollar counts when it comes to your kids extra curricular right? We set up and wait for the customers.  It was a short event only 10-3 that day.  We liked those because people always come ready to buy knowing it is the only day we are there, unlike the flea markets where people think they will come back the next day and never make it.

All day the smell of BBQ had been in the air, the flow of people was steady, we were selling ok for the location.  When suddenly out of no where you are hear something that shouldn’t be there.  Sounds like a car on the gas pedal.  People say people where shouting “WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT”, but I never heard it.  I just looked over just in time to see this man hit 2 people in the cross walk and they lost their lives.  One of the victims went in the air right in front of my booth, that feeling of her looking at me still haunts me to this day.  That feeling of I should have caught her.  Had I caught her would her would she have lost her life that day?

After that the day is a blur, my mind is looping the horrible accident.  The driver I do know was a 91 year old man.  I feel in my heart there had to be no bad intent it was just a freak accident.  He had his wife in the car, both were sent to a local hospital.  I would go on to attend the funeral of the two that died that also happen to be engaged.  The line was long but it was worth the wait to see the family and hug people whom where strangers yet I suddenly had such a deep feeling of connection with at the time.

I would finally reach the front of the line and explain who I was to them.  Surprisingly they were more worried about me being ok than anything else.  The family so kind, suffering such great loss only made me more angry.  Question was who do you get angry at when it was a completely accident.  Who do you shake your fist at and scream for justice to be done when there simply may have been no justice to be had.  We are still waiting on more information about the driver, but hearing he is 91 makes me think it could have been ANYTHING!

This week I have been paralyzed with emotions, missed appointments because I don’t know what day I am in most of the time.  I don’t know how to process this feeling of numbness and grief.  Some say time heals all wounds but being a sexual abuse survivor I know that is just something people say when they have nothing else to say to you.  I know I have to learn to cope with this feeling of grief, learn how to push it aside to move forward, eventually I will think of it without tears.  But right now I have to allow myself to feel my feelings.  Hard thing is knowing which feeling is gonna come out today.  Some days I want to sleep it away, sometimes I am so dang angry I am impossible to be around, some days I just want to sob, someday I am numb and then there are those whopper days when I am all those at once.   Seeing someone loose their life is something I hope most of you will never see, but if you do I hope you know that all your emotions are normal.  Grieving is NORMAL even if you didn’t know them.

I am in counseling, my Dr gave me something to relax me and help me sleep.  Sleep is the key, I handle my emotions better when I sleep that is if I don’t dream because sometimes it feels so real and i can’t wake up.. Those are the dreams that suck monkey balls!  The accident happen what feels like so close to my booth that sometimes I find myself thanking God he didn’t turn the wheel a little left.  Then it is quickly followed by unimaginable guilt for thinking that way.  People tell me all the time that I am not wishing for these two wonderful people to be killed instead of me and it’s ok to be thankful.  That to me just seems incredibly selfish. Survivors guilt maybe? I don’t know what the hell to call it accept unexplained pain.

But just know that tragedy effects us all in different ways and no two people are alike so be respectful of the person’s process… I think that is my single biggest annoyance right now! Everyone’s idea of how I should handle it only makes me crazy.  Remember you have to DEAL with the tragedy your way but you must find a way to deal that is at your speed and your comfort zone.  pushing to hard can make you worse but not pushing at all can also make it worse… so keep trying things til you find what works, set boundaries and don’t be afraid to tell people to back off.. But also know these people are well intended, trying to help and are  only working with the tools they have in their tool box. Which let’s face it not many have the “Getting Over a Horrific Tragedy” book in their tool boxes.  So cut them some slack too..

As for me, i am gonna just keep trying until i figure this out.. maybe writing on here about my feelings will be my outlet, kinda feels good to put it down and get it out of my mind.

Kiss those loved ones and always say you love them as tomorrow isn’t promised as i was so brutally reminded on June 11th.

Teachers Can Bully Too

I know I haven’t been blogging much.  My life seems to have been going nuts.

I am still seething over all that has happen.. I am trying not but it is getting ridiculous.  I am learning more and more how teachers (and I guess I should say some teachers bc there are great teachers out there too) are using tactics like humiliation to get what they want out of a child.  My son for instance when he is overwhelmed, anxious or scared does this whine that I will admit is annoying.  However that is how he copes and until he learns a new behavior he is gonna do that behavior… Well when he does this whine he pulls his hands up to his mouth.  Well in an IEP meeting (in front of her principal and the special ed director) his teacher admitted to telling him he looked like a cat when he does this.. Well I know to some this may seem harmless… But here is the thing about my son, He is LITERAL I mean so literal I can’t even call him my sweet baby boy.  He gets so upset when someone calls him anything other than his name.  So I know that this caused him distress which is a distress he doesn’t deserve… When we could be modeling the behavior and role playing that behavior with him to get him to learn the desired behavior.. ugh..  What is more frustrating is when I asked the teacher not to do this, she took the first chance she got to humiliate me in the meeting. which means she sees nothing wrong with humiliation as a tactic if it gets her the desired result.  can I bang my head against a wall… Humiliating our children is cowardly, it is the cowards way of getting what you want out of our children.  There are many positive ways of working with our children to teach them how to display the appropriate behavior.  However that is gonna require you to do the work and repeat until he learns the behavior.  I don’t know how many times I have told you that the more you sing song something or give him a visual the fast he learns.  Oh wait I am just the dummy mommy.

Look these children deserve better than this, we don’t send them to school to be bullied by the teacher, they will get enough of that by the children.  The parents you teachers see as neurotic  are actually parents that love their children so much it hurts.  These are the parents you should be embracing not trying to alienate.  These are the parents who will help you do whatever you need when you need it.  But these are also the parents who will stand up for their babies no matter the cost or the circumstances..

I am just so tired of being talked down too like I haven’t been living the hell of teaching my son how to communicate effectively and act in appropriate manners when he needs, wants or desires something.  Like I haven’t been in the trenches with my son for the last 5 years.  Look teachers have degrees but I have the Ph. D in my son and what works for him.  You will not make me feel inferior.  You will not make me feel like I am beneath you.  I am his mother and it would behoove you to listen to me.  I can help you and you can help me.  It could be a team effort, Instead you have turned it into a pissing contest.  Well I refuse to piss with you.  I will keep fighting for my son until I feel he has what he needs and then I will sit back and let you piss away in the wind.  I don’t gives a rats butt about you but I do care about my son.

So while you may think that humiliating me was your big win, think again.  You just showed me your hand and now I know what you are truly like.  I am saddened by this because I had hopes for my sons school year.  Dreams of it being this amazing team between each other..  That’s ok though. I see what it is like, however I won’t let you jade me against the other teachers that might come into his life.  This will not ruin that potential relationship.  Just know that your tactics are cowardly and crude.  You shouldn’t be doing this to our special needs kids.  These are the most amazing kids and you have the privilege of teaching them.   If you don’t think of it like that then you are in the wrong job.

Now this is just one mothers opinion.  please no hate mail about how teachers are wonderful.. I have been a teacher and like in every job you have ur bad apples… I think I found one.  But like I said next year will be different for my son bc I believe we will have a great teacher!

Know Your Stuff

This last week has been complete and utter HELL! IDK how to put it any other way… About a week and half ago Drake came home with a busted Lip and just last Thursday he came home with blood bruises under his nose.  Now before I get reamed with comments that “accidents happen at school”, I know this and I can accept that fact.  However I would like to be informed when these accidents happen.  My son says the same child is responsible for these injuries and for pulling his hair since the first day of school.  However I have no frustration with this child because the truth is Drake is in a special needs class.  I highly expect these things to occur.  But I do expect these teachers to be vigilant and to make sure that our children aren’t being severely injured.

It is common for Autistic (or Asperger’s) children to have a high pain tolerance.  This includes my son.  My fear is what happens when they aren’t supervising him and he gets seriously injured.  How many times do you accept “I didn’t know he was hurt” before you FLIP out!  Well for this mommy it is exactly 1 time, the 2nd time in a week I AM DONE!

Then in the middle of these accidents I get a call that 4 weeks into school his IEP hasn’t been “activated”.  This makes me frustrated because what the heck have they been doing with him this last month.  So I ask for something I know they can’t materialize most likely, the number of times he has met with his speech teacher and a progress report from his speech teacher at this point in the 9 weeks.  Of course I get the excuse “well she is the only speech teacher we have and she is busy evaluating other students so she hasn’t gotten to Drake yet” .  This is not how it works people.  The effective date is the day it takes EFFECT, not 4 weeks later.. They also denied me my right to know who wouldn’t be attending my first IEP meeting in writing. I had the right to decide to postpone that meeting since they couldn’t attend, I also had my rights to add accommodations/modifications to the IEP denied.

Here is the thing, we as parents are fed a line of crap from educators.. They tell us when we start this journey things like: “We are a Team”, “We only have your child’s best interest in mind”, and “we want to do what ever we can make you comfortable with the education your child receives”… When in reality they are only doing what they have to do and making sure to save the district money by doing the least possible to help ur child.  Teachers aren’t to blame for this, they are under ENORMOUS pressure to save money and not use resources that are available unless ABSOLUTELY necessary… That is why parents MUST know what their children are entitled too.. You must check on the progress of your child, don’t wait on them to report that progress.  You must request meetings, don’t wait on them to do it. You must be PRO-ACTIVE, please don’t rely on them…

They want us to be completely reliant on them, they want us to believe they know it all, they want us to feel intimidated, they want us to back down and they want us to let them control the meetings.  DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! You have rights as a parent, exercise those rights please.  You will get more respect from them if you do this, also you will find it is less difficult in the future IEP meetings.

IDEA of 2004 has Procedural Safeguards in them for your rights as a parent.  Know them and use them.  Also there are clear rights as a parent you have for the IEP.  Most importantly YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SIGN IT AT THE END OF THE MEETING! Take that IEP home and read over it again. Click here are some Tips on what you should look for before you sign it.  And if the school refuses to comply with Federal  Or State Laws then report them to the States Dept. of Education.  DO NOT FEEL BAD about this at all… They need to be held accountable and if you don’t do it then maybe no one will, who is speaking up for these children that are in their care? Our children must be our priority.

By no means am I saying you have to go in and be ugly and rude.  What I am saying is you must go in and know your rights.  You must make that IEP work for your children. It isn’t about what is best for the teacher, school or district.  It is about what is best for your child.  No one is gonna care about your child like you are gonna care for him/her.  So use that voice and make it known that you know what you’re talking about when it comes to your child’s rights.  Click those links I provided and know that all you have to do is message me on my Facebook page and I will help in any way I can at any time. Mommie Done Flipped is my Facebook if you would like to come join my page.  If I can find a page that can give you info or direct you to the right advocate I will.  I am not a lawyer and don’t give out legal advice.  The info is out there guys all you have to do is be good at using Google.

Back to School Jitters

Typically this is the time of year where parents are doing the happy dance.  Well I am doing a partial happy dance… My girl is going back to school after being homeschooled for a year.  YAY! She is so ready and so am I.  However my boy will be starting school this year for the first time… He is 4 and will be attending a special program to help prepare him for Kindergarten next year.  This program is through the public school.  Am I grateful for the program? YES Does that mean I am less nervous? NO

I feel like a major ball of nerves.  The closer it gets the sicker I get.  Lots of reason really..

1) First IEP meeting and no one that will be working with him was there.  I mean literally no one! Excuse was it was summer they were off.. So I have no idea who he will be working with..

2) His teacher won’t be coming until Sept.  So he will have a sub until then.  Which I understand she had a baby and it was in the NICU until just recently.  I get that and understand.  I wouldn’t want to come right back to work either… But why the year my son is gonna be in your class.. Yes I am aware of how selfish that sounds but when your son doesn’t transition well you tend to be slightly selfish.

3) I worry about the bullies! Lord help me if he gets bullied, I will be that schools worst nightmare mommy.  I can’t stand a bully! My son stims in a weird awkward way and I can’t seem to get him to change that to something less awkward.  He says that he can’t change it because it helps him think better when he does it.

4) I worry just because I am MOM.. Telling me not to worry is like telling a flower not to bloom… I am gonna do it.  I have been his soul caregiver for 4 years now.  I have had no help from the outside and dang it I am scared.  I am scared that they will abuse him, I am scared they will judge him, I am scared they will try to turn him into someone other than who he is, and I am afraid he just won’t need me anymore.  Yup there is that selfish thing coming out again.  Sometimes these things are slightly about me.  However while I acknowledge that, I know that is normal as a mom.  I felt that way when my daughter had her first day of school..

I feel like I am gonna also be out of the loop with my sons care.  I feel like someone else is gonna be making decisions for his well-being without me.  People who don’t even know him will have opinions.  This is not sitting really well with me.  Oh and you don’t have to tell me how controlling this sounds I already know.  But don’t you realize that parenting a child with Autism is about control.  We have to control so many things just to get through a day.. Trying to avoid over stimulation, under stimulation, meltdowns, social awkwardness, and we are just trying to make sure our kids have the best childhood possible.

So while I am suppose to reliquensh some of this control to the staff at his school, I am scared to do it as well.  People say “oh you are gonna love the break”.  You are right I might actually take care of me for a change.  However I will not stop worrying that he isn’t being treated fair or being hurt.  In the end the only person who can take care of him the best is me, HIS MOM.  That doesn’t mean I don’t need help and I am trying to let go.  So please be patient and kind with me while I work through my worry, fears and just let me cry when I need too.

See letting my son go to school is way different than when my daughter went to school.  I was sad but happy for her at the same time.  It was a right of passage with her, but I knew she would be fine.  She could tell me if she wasn’t and I would stomp someone if needed.  However with my boy it is scary.  He is verbal but shuts down when things are bad, he doesn’t like to tell me about his day.  Ask him and he says “i don’t know”.  See that scares me, because will he tell me if someone is hurting him? My son is picky about how he eats his food. So I worry what if it isn’t the right temp and he doesn’t eat? If he has a meltdown, will they be patient with him? Will he be punished for something he can’t control? See all these are fears I didn’t have with my daughter.

So when you ask me if I am excited about my son going to school and I respond “not really”.  How about you say “I understand” instead of telling me how much I need this break or how great it is gonna be to have all this time alone. Because truly I could give a rats butt about that time. I want him to be okay and loved.

Sticker Cowards: A Message to Anyone Judging our Children

So yesterday we all seen the article about the mom who found the stickers on her car calling her Autistic son a “spoiled brat”, “undisciplined” and “entitled”. ( if you haven’t read this please click here)  This really got to me yesterday.  I literally thought about nothing other than this mother and how she must have felt seeing those words on her car.  How violated she must have felt, how angry she probably was, how helpless she felt not knowing who it was and how hurt she must have been feeling for the world her son would have to grow up in now.

I put myself in her position.  As a mother of a son who I feel is stared at and often categorized as these very stereotypes, it left me feeling like: “Well we have gone a long way backwards in educating people on Autism if this is how they still think and feel!”

I will give you my an example… Yesterday was hot as Donkey Kongs balls in a jungle.  We decided it would be a good day for a swim.  Me and my best friend, got our kids ready and we headed down to the pool.  We jump in and I am instantly hit with the thought “wow this feels like a sauna, oh crappity crap crap crap!”.  See Chris hates his water to warm, his food to cold and everything has to meet in the middle… But since our weather is so freaking hot the pool has gotten confused and thinks it is a hot tub.

Everyone begins to comment and I do that mommy look like “Shut the front door up my friends because I don’t want him to notice!” lol  He gets in and does his things.. Jumps off the side about 20 times and rolls up in his ball on his back floating with his ears under water for peace…. I think ok, we are going to be fine… Then it begins more people show up, the pool begins to fill up and he starts to freak out!

Chris: “Mommy I want to go home, I am hungry!”, (he likes to chew on things when he is stressed so hungry is his go to word)

Me: “Chris we just got to the pool lets stay a little longer..”

Chris: “Mommy I just want to go home!”

See here is where it gets bad and the whining starts.. We are pushing him a little and he is pushing back… This is hard for him but his sister is having fun so we want to let her swim.. My husband asked me a couple of times “Babe do you just want me to take him back” and I resisted just to see if we could get through it.

Then came the loud screaming and the harder pushes from him “Mommy I want to go  home, I want to go home, I need to go home!”  Then the words that almost made me cry… “It’s just to hard being here” …

See he was getting overloaded, water was to warm, to many people, kids were screaming, people were splashing, and it was later than we normally swim.

What people on the outside seen was a 4-year-old calling the shots and throwing a fit and getting his way. What I seen was my son telling me when he had reached enough and me (in trying to meet another child’s needs) not listening to his need of removing himself from the stressful situation.

What these “cowards” and “uneducated idiots” that left these stickers on that window fail to see is these children aren’t “Spoiled”, “entitled” or “undisciplined”.  They are fighting a war inside their bodies, they have no control over winning or loosing that war.  All they can do is try to remove themselves from the situation and sometimes as parents we are trying so hard to be “socially acceptable”, we push them to hard to be that with us.  This is true for me at least… We want them to fit in with their friends and family, so if we just stay a little longer maybe it will pass.  “Oh Silly Mommy Trix are for the Neuro-Typical Child” because Autistic kids will smell a trick coming a mile away.   See they are beyond smart.  So smart we can’t even wrap our minds around this level of intelligence sometimes.

So in all the pondering I decided that really in the end these people are the ones missing out on knowing what is probably one of the most amazing gifts God has placed on this Earth.  An Autistic Child will unlock doors for your mind that you didn’t think was possible, make you think outside the box when all you want to do is jump in the box and tape the lid shut.  If you hold on though, for just one minute, you will start to enjoy that ride… Then you will never want to get off..

Yup, so for all you out there judging my son (or any Autistic Child) know this, my son is braver than any of you. Why? Because he wakes up each day and faces a world that judges him endlessly for something he can’t change.  Yet he still thinks you are all his friends!

PS Learn to spell before you get all ballsy and judgmental publicly like this! Just saying!

Basic Aspergers for you Dummies

We all know that our Aspie’s (or the High Functioning Autistic children now as they are called) hyper focus on certain things in their “world”.  It becomes their obsession… Since my son was 18 months old it has been Mario Brothers for him.. He has self-taught himself how to play the games, now he YouTube’s the games and teaches himself how to play.  Most of the time he has taught himself how to play the new games through video’s and when the game comes out he is almost bored with the game after a week… Hence why we love GameFly…

Here is why I give you all this background… Every evaluation we go to they ask me the same question: Is there any one topic he seems to fixated about and loves to learn about? —  My answer is always “Educationally NO, but he is super fixated on video games, especially Mario.  He loves to learn about games new and old.  How to level up, new gear coming out, how the amiibo works, and just anything Wii related.”

It is INTENSE when he is talking about Mario… If he is talking about Mario and he thinks you aren’t listening he will say “Mommy are you listening to me!” over and over until he is acknowledged… He gets absolutely giddy over it.. It’s hard to explain but if you have an Aspie you know what I am talking about… 🙂

But what makes me so CRAZY is every time I say this, they look at me and say “oh no I mean like Dinosaurs or Space”.  I always shoot them a look like “Wait who the freakity freak are you to tell me what my sons obsession should be? So to be an Aspie it has to be Dino’s or Space? Educational only? ummmm last I checked these kids have different personalities and different interest… So are ‘normal’ children only allowed to like video’s games and non-educational stuff?”

My question is WHO THE HECK TAUGHT THESE PPL!  I know my son isn’t the only gaming Aspie out there because I have a good friend whose son is equally obsessed… so I told my husband that next time a teacher or Dr. tries to dismiss this I am gonna have to do some serious educating… I am gonna offer “Basic Aspergers for You Dummies”…  I am going to have to start asking for creditials if this keeps up.. Make sure they aren’t coming out of a Cracker Jack Box… yummm Cracker Jacks.. Oops sorry, I’m back.. lol

But is it me or do these people really think that we as parents are this slow.  That we aren’t paying attention to the stupidity that comes out of their mouths sometimes.  Whether be a Dr. discussing a treatment plan or a Teacher at an IEP meeting.  I want to look at them and say, you know how do you think we got to this point? It wasn’t because Mama was slow on the uptake people.  Someone had to get him here.  Are you feeling me?

Please guys I am always looking to hear from you guys and what you are hearing from the “experts” on your children… I know I am not the only one around here thinking they need to slap somebody sometimes…

note: please know I am not saying that obsessions about dinosaurs or space aren’t acceptable, but that drs have to be open to other non-educational type of obsessions sometimes.

Play Nice Mommy

I swear it is a sad day when I have to kiss up to teacher just to ensure that she is nice to my kid… Shouldn’t all teachers be nice to the kids… I mean what the what, didn’t you get into the teaching profession bc you wanted to make a difference on a child’s life… I am starting to think teachers were just once the kids that were bullied who are now looking for others to bully so they became teachers.  This way they can get away with bullying by saying “kids today just aren’t disciplined anymore making our job so hard”.

Don’t get me wrong I have taught preschool and I know some teachers are God’s gift… I have had some teach my daughter that I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world.  Their impact was priceless.. Then you have those that you just want to take your finger to their nose and say “look here, you got one more time to talk to my kid like that.. then me and you are gonna settle this old school! GOT IT!”

I know I know violence is never an option blah blah blah… but hey that is how I feel… Today I am preparing a sweet “Introductory Letter” to my sons teacher.  Hoping this gives her some understanding to his quirks so she doesn’t throat punch him while he is at school.  I mean all jokes aside he is Autistic, I do understand her needing to understand him more than most kids, but the emphasis that is put on Autistic parents to make things as easy as possible for the teachers is baffling to me… Maybe if the schools focused on accommodations for these children then we wouldn’t have to worry about kissing up to these teachers…

Stop focusing on these STUPID test and focusing on teaching these kids how they learn… But I plan to be a good little Autistic Mommy and be right there holding their hands all the way… Making sure my boy is in good hands!  Which in return means I won’t get banned from the school for loosing my mind on the principal.