So yesterday we all seen the article about the mom who found the stickers on her car calling her Autistic son a “spoiled brat”, “undisciplined” and “entitled”. ( if you haven’t read this please click here) This really got to me yesterday. I literally thought about nothing other than this mother and how she must have felt seeing those words on her car. How violated she must have felt, how angry she probably was, how helpless she felt not knowing who it was and how hurt she must have been feeling for the world her son would have to grow up in now.
I put myself in her position. As a mother of a son who I feel is stared at and often categorized as these very stereotypes, it left me feeling like: “Well we have gone a long way backwards in educating people on Autism if this is how they still think and feel!”
I will give you my an example… Yesterday was hot as Donkey Kongs balls in a jungle. We decided it would be a good day for a swim. Me and my best friend, got our kids ready and we headed down to the pool. We jump in and I am instantly hit with the thought “wow this feels like a sauna, oh crappity crap crap crap!”. See Chris hates his water to warm, his food to cold and everything has to meet in the middle… But since our weather is so freaking hot the pool has gotten confused and thinks it is a hot tub.
Everyone begins to comment and I do that mommy look like “Shut the front door up my friends because I don’t want him to notice!” lol He gets in and does his things.. Jumps off the side about 20 times and rolls up in his ball on his back floating with his ears under water for peace…. I think ok, we are going to be fine… Then it begins more people show up, the pool begins to fill up and he starts to freak out!
Chris: “Mommy I want to go home, I am hungry!”, (he likes to chew on things when he is stressed so hungry is his go to word)
Me: “Chris we just got to the pool lets stay a little longer..”
Chris: “Mommy I just want to go home!”
See here is where it gets bad and the whining starts.. We are pushing him a little and he is pushing back… This is hard for him but his sister is having fun so we want to let her swim.. My husband asked me a couple of times “Babe do you just want me to take him back” and I resisted just to see if we could get through it.
Then came the loud screaming and the harder pushes from him “Mommy I want to go home, I want to go home, I need to go home!” Then the words that almost made me cry… “It’s just to hard being here” …
See he was getting overloaded, water was to warm, to many people, kids were screaming, people were splashing, and it was later than we normally swim.
What people on the outside seen was a 4-year-old calling the shots and throwing a fit and getting his way. What I seen was my son telling me when he had reached enough and me (in trying to meet another child’s needs) not listening to his need of removing himself from the stressful situation.
What these “cowards” and “uneducated idiots” that left these stickers on that window fail to see is these children aren’t “Spoiled”, “entitled” or “undisciplined”. They are fighting a war inside their bodies, they have no control over winning or loosing that war. All they can do is try to remove themselves from the situation and sometimes as parents we are trying so hard to be “socially acceptable”, we push them to hard to be that with us. This is true for me at least… We want them to fit in with their friends and family, so if we just stay a little longer maybe it will pass. “Oh Silly Mommy Trix are for the Neuro-Typical Child” because Autistic kids will smell a trick coming a mile away. See they are beyond smart. So smart we can’t even wrap our minds around this level of intelligence sometimes.
So in all the pondering I decided that really in the end these people are the ones missing out on knowing what is probably one of the most amazing gifts God has placed on this Earth. An Autistic Child will unlock doors for your mind that you didn’t think was possible, make you think outside the box when all you want to do is jump in the box and tape the lid shut. If you hold on though, for just one minute, you will start to enjoy that ride… Then you will never want to get off..
Yup, so for all you out there judging my son (or any Autistic Child) know this, my son is braver than any of you. Why? Because he wakes up each day and faces a world that judges him endlessly for something he can’t change. Yet he still thinks you are all his friends!
PS Learn to spell before you get all ballsy and judgmental publicly like this! Just saying!